Being a Victim of Circumstance: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Life

Have you ever wondered why your life is going the way it is?

Have you ever felt powerless to take action because of your circumstances?

Or maybe you’ve wanted different results in your life but weren’t sure how to make that happen?

If so, you’re not alone. Many of us—especially as midlife women and moms- find ourselves feeling stuck at times. We want to make changes, but it can feel like life is happening to us instead of for us. We can easily fall into the mindset of being a victim of circumstance.

My Story: When I Felt Powerless

For many years, I was a stay-at-home mom—a role I loved and chose intentionally. My husband and I agreed that I would stay home with our kids while he worked to provide for our family.

But as our kids grew older, our financial situation began to change. We were meeting our basic needs, but things were tight. Unexpected expenses often ended up on credit cards, and I worried about our future.

I found myself complaining about money, feeling anxious and frustrated. Even though we had a good marriage, my constant worrying and complaining didn’t help us connect. It only made me feel more powerless.

One day, my husband gently said, “I’m doing the best I can. If you don’t think it’s enough, maybe you can do something about it.”

At first, that comment stung—but over time, I realized he was right. I could do something. I didn’t have to be a victim of our circumstances.

The Power of Shifting Your Thoughts

At the time, my thinking looked like this:

• Thought: “I don’t have control over improving our financial situation.”

• Feeling: Powerless

• Action: Worrying and spinning in frustration

• Result: Nothing changed

Once I started to shift my thoughts, everything began to change:

• New Thought: “Maybe I could find a way to bring in some income.”

• Feeling: Encouraged

• Action: I began exploring options and thinking seriously about what I wanted to do.

• Result: I decided to go back to school and pursue something I was passionate about.

Going back to school wasn’t easy. There were challenges, doubts, and plenty of discomfort—but my desire for change was stronger. Over time, that decision led to tremendous growth, confidence, and a new career in mental health therapy, a field I am very passionate about.

None of that would have happened if I had stayed in a powerless mindset. The transformation began the moment I stopped seeing myself as a victim of circumstance and started believing I could create change.

Try This: A Simple Mindset Exercise

If you’re feeling stuck or unhappy with your current situation, here’s something you can do:

1. Grab a piece of paper and write down all the thoughts you have about your current circumstance.

2. Next to each thought, write down the emotion that comes with it.

   • For example:

     • Thought: “I don’t have control over this situation.”

     • Emotion: Powerless

3. Simply observe what you’ve written—without judgment. This exercise isn’t about fixing anything right now. It’s just about understanding what’s happening in your mind and how your thoughts are influencing your emotions.

And here’s a word of caution: you might be tempted to judge yourself for what you’re thinking or feeling. Try not to. This process is simply information—a first step toward awareness and eventual change.

Next Steps

Next week on the blog, I’ll be writing about how to take this awareness even further—how small shifts in your thinking can lead to big changes in the way you feel and the results you create in your life.

Remember: You are not a victim of your circumstances. You are capable of creating new possibilities for yourself—one thought at a time.